I like to think that I was prepared for motherhood. I read books on pregnancy, newborn care, and infant sleep. I took a pregnancy class. I listened to a natural birth podcast. I talked to nearly every mother I know. I was prepared for (but terrified of) the exhaustion. I was expecting the nursing pain. I had an idea of how deeply I would fall in love with my baby the minute I heard her cry. I knew what to expect. I was ready.
Two weeks ago, in a moment of frustration when my baby decided that she would no longer take a bottle, making it impossible for me to leave her for longer than three hours, I had a breakthrough (instead of a breakdown, thankfully). I realized that the thing that surprises me the most about motherhood is the amount of responsibility that falls solely on me as Harper’s mother.
I have an amazing husband. He has the ultimate responsibility of taking care of and providing for everyone in our household. That’s a pressure I will probably never feel and I am so grateful to him for taking it on every single day. On top of that, he is always there for me. He comes home every evening asking what he can do to help and Harper lights up and gives her biggest smiles as soon as he walks into the room. We are so blessed to have him. But, like he always says, when it comes to the baby, I’m in charge. (more…)